If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
