I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
