i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
