I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
