you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Randomize
