I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
