wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
