god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
