dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
