I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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