I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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