After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
