Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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