There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
