i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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