remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
