I think I died a long time ago.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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