Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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