its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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