You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
