nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize