im gay
i know
yea but for you.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
