dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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