You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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