maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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