Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
two words: eviction party
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
