I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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