if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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