Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
