Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude. I can hear the air.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
