I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
