At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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