farters have to be the big spoon...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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