we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
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if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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