I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
