Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
