this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
