His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
