I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
