captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
