we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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