Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
