If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
