question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
