I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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