and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
