I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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