Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
