Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
