I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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