True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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