OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
