I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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