Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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