I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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