i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Less talking, more tequila
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
