I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
