i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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