Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize