C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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