no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We are all done wearing pants today
The ass gains better be worth it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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