covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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