The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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