you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just high enough for therapy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
