would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
