Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
