Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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